24 Things (Vol. 4)

13. When I worked at Country Insurance in high school, I learned about the full-moon phenomenon. When there was a full moon, we would get the craziest claims reported. Claims like one hay bale sliding out from the middle of the stack and landing on a car, or multiple rats getting pulled up inside a swather and resulting in motor damage. This last year I learned the full-moon phenomenon is magnified in the hospital. Suddenly I feel like I’m working in a psych ward rather than a cardiac unit. However, the most notable full-moon phenomenon I’ve ever encountered happened last August when I drove down to Tri Cities the morning after a full moon. I counted 32 roadkills. Now a few of those roadkills were just sparrows, but the highlight of the show was a cow. I can only imagine what it was like driving on the road that night. I’m imagining mass hysteria on the animals' part, and mass horror as drivers thudded over each bulls-eye. Thing learned, on Highway 17 full moon equals mass slaughter.


14. Sometimes when you delay gratification too long, it only results in disappointment. The summer after 8th grade I made a time capsule at girls' camp. The time capsule was a one gallon tin can used for dry-pack canning. In my capsule, I carefully selected the items I wanted to rediscover in 10 years. After I sealed it up, I quickly forgot what I’d put in it. My only clues were my best friend's and my crush’s name written on the outside lid and that when I shook the can… it rattled. 2007 seamed like such a long ways away. I almost opened it in 2001 and again in 2005. The only restraint that kept me from taking the can opener to it was the HOPE that whatever I’d put in there would be good enough to make the wait worth while. D-I-S-A-P-P-O-I-N-T-M-E-N-T! As these pictures show, there was nothing but CRAP in that can. Of all the lame things I stuffed into that can, here are the top four:

• A Lego Man: He had only one hand and his head was blue without a face on it. Why did Lego even make blue heads without faces?
  
• A Pass the Pigs Pig: That explains why I haven’t played Pass the Pigs for the past 10 years… no pig.
  
• A 101 Dalmatian Valentine: It was a Valentine from 4th grade and all it said was “To: Cali” and “From: Stephanie.” At this point I started wondering if I accidentally mixed up my time capsule and trash piles.
  
• A Domino: I’m blank on this one. I have NO idea why I put a single domino in my time capsule. It doesn’t even have my lucky numbers on it.

Thing learned, time capsules are never a good idea unless you’re putting money and photographs in them.


15. I can only go so far in conquering a fear. I may be holding him, but take note, my hand is over my heart and if it wasn’t… my heart would have already busted free. Also, that snake doesn’t know it yet, but there is NO WAY I’m going to quit pinching his head. He is coiling his body around my arm making that long straight part of his body as tight as a guitar string. I’m assuming he thinks this will make me release his head. Uhhhh, NO! It won’t. I don’t care if he pulls his body so tight he pops his own head off. I AM NOT LETTING GO! Thing learned, fear only makes me pinch harder.

16. Mandy-Rae Cruickshank, the freediving world champion, can freedive (no oxygen tank or weights) 289 feet and hold her breath 6 minutes and 25 seconds. She states that she only has to kick to 132 feet, where a person becomes negatively buoyant, and she just falls the rest of the way. She also states that she has learned to do exercises that help her combat the impulse to breath. Thing learned, suddenly I’m not so proud of my 100 meter swim (with no breaths) during swim team practice.