Monday, September 27, 2010

I Don't Get It

I guess it should say, "I Didn't Get It."

Today I had a stranger come up to me in Target.  She was young, pretty, and she very politely ask if I've ever been offered a free Mary Kay makeover?  I grinned from ear-to-ear, because I was sure she had just payed me the BIGGEST compliment.  I said, "Yup, myyyyy... sister-in-law sells Mary Kay."  It was a bold faced lie, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings.  She just smiled and I thanked her for the compliment and turned to walk away.  As soon as I turned, it HIT me.

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS YOU A MAKEOVER, IT ISN'T A COMPLIMENT!!!!

Suddenly, I took stock of what I looked like.  It was bleak.

Overalls from the Moses Lake farming store
Bangs so long they get tangled in my eyelashes
Plain white t-shirt
Hair that used to be in a bun, but now a collection of tweakers barely held in by a clip (a clip that was missing 2 teeth and hanging on for dear life)


(me cleaning the Cheetos out of my teeth so Ray can take my picture)

 (me in ALL my glory)

Apparently painted toenails and pearl earrings alone can't redeem a pair of overalls and bad hair.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Don't you think it's about time for a Houdini update?

Well, she's doing juuuust fine.

She has now officially lasted 7 months longer than my first turtle did.  Here are my 7 (one for each additional month she's survived) most favorite memories of her from this summer.

In no particular order:

3.  Losing her in the flower bed.  This spring, I thought I'd take her outside to weed with me.  I thought it would help us bond.  I lost her for about 20 minutes.  At minute 17 I started to feel really panicked because I suddenly remembered she's a burrowing turtle.  She could have buried herself ANYWHERE in the flower bed.  At minute 18 I decided that if I didn't find her in the next 2 minutes, I would have to go ask my old lady neighbor to come out and help me look.  At minute 19 I started to lose hope and began creating a lie to tell Ray... I knew he would take her missing-ness the hardest.  Luckily, at minute 20 I found her.  She was out in the gutter of the road.  If I didn't know how much she loved life, I would have suspected her for suicidal.

6.  Telling her goodnight.  I used to turn her heat lamp off manually every night.  I'd turn it off and say, "Gooooood Night!"  Except, sometimes when Ray would be gone (traveling for work) I'd leave it on and use it as my night light.  One of those nights I started laughing in bed when I heard her mutter, "Good grief!  Is this day ever going to end?"  Now, she has a timer on her heat lamp.  So, when I hear it click off, from where ever I am in the house, I shout, "GOOOOOD NIIIIIIIGHT HOUDINIIIIII!"

(Eating a worm... the only thing that makes her excited)

1.  Having her run away from home.  I could relate with this one because I still remember the time I ran away from home when I was 3.  Sometimes you just need a break from you home life, chores, mundane routine.  Unfortunately Houdini didn't have the resolve I possessed.  She only lasted 30 minutes.  I lasted 3 days.  I shouldn't have been surprised by her attempt, though.  She'd been showing all the signs of running for months.

7.  Watching her eat a worm.  Or a pill bug, or a moth, or a banana.  Nothing makes a parent more proud than having a good eater.

(Eating a banana and lettuce)

4.  Losing her in the house one day after I gave her a bath, and finding her half way down the staircase.  I'm not sure if she was doing it step-by-step, or if she had decided to take them 6 at a time by rolling down.

2.  Having Ray make her a "car seat" so he could take her to Moses Lake to be turtle sat.  He took an ice-cream bucket and filled it half way with dirt.  He put Houdini in it.  Then he filled the rest of the bucket up with dirt and put the lid on... but not too tight.  He also threw 2 worms in there with her... something to play with.  This was ALL his idea... just being ingenious.  I had nothing to do with it, but still laugh when I think about it.


(Houdini sitting on her rock.  Since it was spring time, Ray thinks she was hoping it was another turtle)

5.  Hmmmm, I'm out of favorite memories.  I guess I only have 6.  Oh wait.  I thought of one.  I love that she doesn't like us.  Ray's still delusions himself and thinks she likes him, but how could an animal love a master that they're scared to death of?  If we go anywhere near her, she sucks into her shell really fast or runs and hides under the log in her aquarium.

(The bow Ray tied around her when he gave her to me for my birthday)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

52 Blessings: Parents

Dear Jane & Calvin,

Last week you reminded me of a funny detail, that I called you Jane and Calvin, rather than mom and dad, until I was almost three.  You said it was because I mimicked you, and that's what you called each other.

I have missed you today.  A similar feeling as when I used to head off to college; very lonely wondering who would take care of you... and who would take care of me.  I have also felt especially grateful for you today.  It seems a lot of the things you taught me when I was little have been resurfacing lately.  A specific lesson on prayer, a reprimand for lying, a blessing given for comfort, they've all come to the forefront of my mind.  I know they were at least partially understood at the time they were given, but the true meaning of what you were trying to teach seems to be much clearer now.  Thank you for teaching me.

With all these thought mulling about today, I sat down to watch some of the new Mormon Messages.  One of the first I saw was this one.




When Elder Hales said, "Parents, are you there?"  I allowed the tears to quietly fall down.  That's also the minute you called me dad... just to see how I was doing.

I know the following phrase seems cliche, but know this is the clearest and purest I can say it, "thank you for always being there."

Love, Cali