Thursday, July 10, 2008


Dear Old Header,

I like to start my letters to you as if we are old friends. I miss you already. Here is what I miss most:

1. You were green. Not just green, but GREEN (my favorite color).

2. I swear I can see a squirrel in the dark patch on the lower right side (my right, not yours)

3. The tracks running through you are not mud pits as they first appear. They are just plants that got squished and muddy. They aren't dead though, and for some reason I think that is kind of comical. Clever plants in disguise

Well, that's really all I had to say to you.

Sincerely,
Cali
(CEO, Chief Editor, Master)

.44 Magnum

me and the .44 magnum

Someone sent me the following newspaper article:

Woman Shoots Self While Trying to Kill Mice
ASSOCIATED PRESS
9:03 a.m. July 8, 2008

POTTER VALLEY – A Mendocino County woman who was trying to kill mice in her trailer with a gun ended up shooting herself and another person.

Sheriff's officials say the 43-year-old woman pulled out her .44-caliber Magnum revolver after she saw the mice scurrying across the floor of her trailer on Highway 20 in Potter Valley.

But she accidentally dropped the gun, which went off as it struck the floor. The bullet went through the woman's kneecap, bounced off the keys sitting on the belt loop of a 42-year-old man in the trailer and grazed the man's groin before ending up in his coin pocket.

Authorities did not release the shooting victims' names.

The mice escaped the shooting unharmed.

-THE END-

The person that sent me the article is the same person that let me shoot his .44 magnum, fondly christened "Bear Repellant." In the picture above I'm getting a hands-on briefing for shooting a .44 magnum. I'm being told, "Don't let go. Whatever you do, don't let go. It kicks. I mean it REALLY kicks." As he walked away, I'm pretty sure I heard him whisper under his breath, "Please don't let go."

I didn't let go.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Optimistic

I've been thinking it was time I started taking the glass-half-empty-half-full perception seriously. So, I did some soul searching. Unfortunately I came to the conclusion I was a borderliner who leaned to the half-empty side. That initiated another round of soul searching... nobody likes a pessimist.

However things are looking up, because last week I had a break through. I walked outside the back door of the hospital after a looooonnnng day of work (if you really want to know how long it was, then add a few more o's and n's) and was thinking to myself, "Hmmmm, that day really sucked." As I rounded the corner I saw two kittens walking on the sidewalk and in the grass, except they weren't kittens. And here's where the break through came. Upon seeing them, I thought, "Ha ha ha ha. Are you kidding me? I cannot think of a better way to end this day. I've never seen a skunk so small it looked like a tiny kitten. I've never had to fight the urge to pet one. I love you sweet, sweet irony."

So the moral of the story is soul searching really does work and I'm now in the glass-half-full club.


Please be assured I didn't use zoom to take these pictures. That's right, I was so at-one with nature that even nature didn't notice me. In case those two teasers above didn't satisfy your thirst, here are a few more pictures. I'm now contemplating making a super mushy pet e-mail out of these pictures for all of you to forward. Each picture in this e-mail is going to have a caption with something very profound like, "No Stank You." So what do you think? If I make it, will you send it?