Sunday, June 8, 2008

I Missed the Memo


June 8, 2008

When I was 9 years old, I spent a week with my Aunt Marcia and cousin, Haley, in Nevada. During that trip, my Aunt Marcia took Haley and me fishing on some docks. As we sat there trying everything we could think of to make the fish bite, I suddenly got an idea. There's a Sesame Street episode where Bert and Ernie are fishing. Ernie teaches Bert that if you want to get some fish, all you have to do is call them. Ernie shows Bert how to yell, "HERE FISHY FISHY FISHY!" and the fish jump into the boat. On that dock, I decided to try my luck. I made a few adaptations, however. I decided to yell, "HERE BASSturd BASSturd BASSturd!" Bass because a bass is a fish... made sense. Turd because the fish were being stubborn, therefore deserved the label turd. Someone forgot to tell me that bastard was NOT a literal translation.

Well, I feel like I missed a similar memo. The one where they defined or at least implied what “Bow Chicka Wow Wow” meant. I'm still not even sure what it REALLY means, but I'm told it has something to do with the birds and the bees and I should ask my mom to explain it. I’ve been singing it under my breath at work, saying it to my parents, and most embarrassingly of all…

I went up to Alaska two weeks ago to go Halibut/King Salmon fishing with friends and their family. (Side Note: I've never met their family and supposedly a first impression is lasting.) So back to the story; apparently, when a fisherman gets a fish on the line they yell, “Fish On!” Well, no one told me that and I thought I heard them yell, “Let’s get it on!” Just hearing those words caused Marvin Gaye to croon “Let’s get it on” in my head over and over all day long. When a song is stuck in your head, it eventually escapes via the mouth. It’s inevitable, really. Well, I unavoidably ended up singing that song for the rest of the day. When it came my turn to finally yell, “fish on!” I made the obvious substitution of “Let’s get it on!” I then followed it up with the (unbeknownst to me) awkward victory shout of, “Bow Chicka Wow Wow!”

I guess the point of the story here is… are there any other memos I should be watching out for? If so, a comment would be appreciated.

p.s. Microsoft Word does not recognize bastard and turd as words. How refined.

9 comments:

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Oh ho, Cali. This is but one reason I love being your mom . . . and I'm relieved I wasn't around in either of these situations!

To Cali's blog readers, I beg you, please send her memo's. Please. One mother cannot send them all (especially when she didn't get them herself).

cathy said...

okay Cali.......I just tinkled a little bit in my pannies. After four kids you loose control of that bodily function, and when your hear of a story like this.....well you can guess! You had me laughing so darn hard! I had to reread post this becuase I had tears streaming down my face and could not focus properly and missed every other word. Hence, reading it the second time was even FUNNIER!! I can only imagine that happening, and to know you were the lucky chickie who made peoples day.......PRICELESS!! You are the topic of conversations around their dinner tables......I am so sorry, but that is some dang funny stories!!! I cannot stop laughing!
I ask only one thing of you..........PLEASE POST MORE OFTEN!!! I have LOVED getting to know you and your amazing Mother more through your blogs.
Oh, you could post pics of your trip with more stories.....just a hint Ü

Tiffany Fackrell said...

Ok cali, I will confess too, I had NO CLUE that "bow chicka wow wow" had anything to do with the birds and the bees....hmmm maybe there are some memo's I should be reading too!!! My husband laughs at me all of the time because I am a bit clueless sometimes! Oh well, it makes for a good story and a good laugh down the road. But that was definitely embarrassing!

Anonymous said...

hahahahaha Cali, I love being your sister for this reason. I was just laughing out loud thinking of you yelling "let's get it on" and the awkward "bow chica wow wow." Haha I'm glad I'm not the only "sex maniac" in the family. (As a side note to readers, I'm not REALLY a sex maniac, Mom just thinks I am.) Another memo you may have missed is the one where girls should never get a boy hair cut. It would have been nice if you had gotten that memo...could have saved me some grief.

-Ande

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

WAIT....wait....wait. Ande, I didn't say that . . . :)

toddash said...

you are one of my favorite humans. that is fantastic. when will you come to utah? i refuse to give you any memos, because i would love to be there for a moment such as that.

toddash said...

and cali, i just now read the pun one. that makes me so happy. a good pun is always fun. yes. i always forget that i have a punning reputation. that was a stretch. do you get it? a stunning reputation. no. i'll try later. remember when we all lived in hawaii?? what the heck? that was 6 SIX years ago. how? what is grandpa nate doing these days..

HeatherM said...

Cali-you can not make me laugh that hard at work - they look at me funny! This is a hilarious post. I fear I am almost as naive as you, so I cannot forward any Memo's. Chance will be so embarrassed when he's a teenager . . .

Anonymous said...

Mom...you most def. have said that. I have seen you shake your head in wonder/disgust at my comments many a times...now you can start shakin that head at someone else in the family...but keep us out of any other shakin...

Ande