Monday, August 25, 2008

100 Things About Me (Round 1)

A snake my dad caught for me... in an attempt to cure me of a fear
Preface: So my thinking is that if you “all” only read 5 things a day, this post will last until my next one. Just kidding! I’ve been testing you, and any of you that are still checking this blog… well, you are both kind and forgiving. Bless you all.

1. Ninety percent of the days I’m home in Moses Lake, my mom and I go on a walk. These walks are very structured. We always walk the same sandy road between the same fields. We’ve solved a number of the world’s problems on these walks. And, we are each allowed one “veto” to use if we don’t want to talk about a topic the other brings up. My mom doesn’t use her veto very often. Mine makes a regular appearance.

2. In the back of my head I’m still planning on becoming a geologist, a librarian, AND a greenhouse owner someday.

3. I’m still VERY afraid of the dark. But, right up there with my fear of the dark is empty churches at night, vacant carnivals, and houses that are haunted (and quit laughing… they do exist)

4. I still don’t know my right side from my left side without a GREAT deal of thought.

5. My jobs in college were as follows:
  • BYU Art Model: I sat there and the art students painted me. Embarrassing at first, but liked it towards the end, probably because the art students got better.
  • BYU-H Bakery: I woke up every Tuesday and Thursday mornings at 4:30 and rode my bike in the dark (scary) to bake 120 loaves of bread and make whatever desserts the catering service needed for the day with Tasi, my cool Samoan boss.
  • BYU-H Aquarium Manager: I took care of all the University's marine aquariums and “specimens.” All I had to do was keep them all alive until their experiments were done.

6. When I worked in Hawaii at the bakery, I got in trouble by the head chef because I refused to wear the stupid hat. Even though I got in trouble, I never did wear it. I didn't see the point. I was already wearing a hair net and no one ever saw me because I worked in the back.

7. When I was little, as in four years old, I wanted my name to be Jenny, Bo, or Shelly. I thought Cali was a bad name because no one else had it. When I was six I decided Cali wasn’t so bad after all.

"Baloon Popper" from I Spy School Days by Walter Wick

8. My favorite Christmas was the one where each of us kids got an “I Spy” book. Those books with pictures of lots of little objects like paperclips, toy soldiers, jewelry, and then you have to find the hidden safety pin. Anyway, we each got one of those books and some candy and all day long we searched through our books and ate candy.

9. It is VERY difficult for me to be guilt tripped. I do feel guilt, but it has to be instigated by myself.

10. I was named after my dad, Calvin. I am very proud of that fact and I feel a responsibility to live up to that name.

11. I am a closet reader and music listener. Which means I don’t tell what I’m reading or listening to. I’m afraid it will either expose too much about what I’m thinking OR… it will give the wrong impression. No, I’m not reading nickel nasties

12. In college my eating habits hit two all time lows.

  • All Time Low #1: I decided that milk was too expensive at $4.50 a gallon so brainstormed and decided my only option was to stop using milk (no-cereal wasn’t an option) or start buying whole milk then mixing it half-and-half with water. I only did it with one gallon.
  • All Time Low #2: I couldn’t keep those tiny little ants out of my cereal, so I started just pouring my cereal, pouring my milk, giving the ants 10 seconds to float to the top of the milk, then skimmed them off and ate the rest.

13. When I was 10 I saw a sit-com where the mom was in distress because she was becoming like her mother. I didn’t understand the joke. Why wouldn’t someone want to be like their mother? I still want to be like my mom.

14. I have freakishly huge veins on my arms and hands. If they don't look big, then it's the picture's fault. They are big.

15. I love the smell of burnt hair. I think it’s because it reminds me of being a kid and branding cows. Or, maybe of the time I was burning the trash and tossed the match in the barrel, then was stupid enough to peak over the edge to see if my match had caught. It had caught.

16. I don’t look good in lipstick. I look heinous. I look worse than heinous. I look wicked.

17. I interact best with people either over the age of 35 or younger than 20. I’m terrible with my peers (except a certain one), but specialize in senior citizens (especially sick ones). I chalk it up to my “old” soul. Old enough to love rocking chairs, horehound candy, black and white movies, and the smell of Old Spice.

18. In 3rd grade I had two main educational goals; learn how to whistle and learn how to fake burp the alphabet. I learned how to whistle, but still can’t get a single fake burp out.

19. I listen to music with the volume loud, as in REALLY loud. I’ve decided that loud music is my “shot of whiskey” or “tub of Ben & Jerry’s.” It’s that unhealthy self-indulgence at the expense of your body. I know it will make me deaf someday, but I think the deaf old ladies are funny.

20. I think the freecreditreport.com commercials/songs are really funny. I sing along with them and could do a solo if asked to.

21. I want to sleep in a hammock on a ship or in a treehouse. My neighbors in Hawaii had a hammock in their backyard and I occasionally would sneak into it late at night after they were asleep and spend the night there… wishing it were in a treehouse or a ship.

22. The sound of Styrofoam makes me cry. On Christmas I have to leave the room while everyone get’s their “stuff” out of the boxes. If I was lost in Death Valley and the only water was inside a Styrofoam cooler, I’d either die of dehydration or die from scratching my ears out of my head.

23. One regret I have is that I haven’t planted more hardwood trees in the world. I cannot think of a more selfless act of service. Planting and nurturing a tree that you will never get to completely enjoy. Maybe I should stop regretting and start planting. I’m only 25… not 95.

24. My mom and I have a running game of “Baby Butt” and “Hide the Shoes” always going.
  • "Baby Butt" entails me turning her little ceramic baby in the ceramic tub over so his butt is sticking out and then she turns him back over. My great grandfather used to do the same thing to my great grandmother when she had the same ceramic baby. It just seemed sad not to keep that baby flipping.
  • "Hide the Shoes" has a more complicated background. I had a pair of shoes I didn’t want and I didn’t want to take them to the goodwill bin either. Therefore I asked my mom if she wanted them. She said, "maybe, but probably not." I put them in her room and when she said she didn’t want them I said it was her responsibility to get rid of them now. She threw them in my room when I wasn’t home. I hid them in the sleeves of her winter coat. She sneakily packed them in my suitcase when I left for Alaska. I put them in the bottom of the freezer. She hid them under my pillow. I have them stashed “somewhere” right now and she hasn’t found them for over a week. This game has been going on for over a year
25. Since I was old enough to be teased, I’ve been harassed about my last name (it rhymes with cane and starts with a “p”). I used to get so sick of everyone thinking they were so witty/funny and want to scream at them, “Just grow up!” Now that I’m grown up, I think my last name is funny.

Now I'm going to blow all your minds. I'll post regularly for the next three days.

6 comments:

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Oh gee. I love reading your 100 list and am glad you're spacing it out because I would read every bit and then have nothing for a month. I'm not good at delaying gratification like you are.

Your posts always makes me laugh and I'm glad the world gets to see what I've enjoyed for the last 25 years.

Ande Payne said...

Cal Pal I love your list. It made me laugh. It also made me motivated to be better hydrated so I can have freakishly large veins like you. I wish you had done all 100. I wanted to read more and somehow I don't think you will get the other 75 up anytime soon. I love you though.

HeatherM said...

Cali - This was great. I'll try to put my comments in the order of the things that struck me the most:

1 - I have to look at my hands to see which one makes the "L" everytime someone tells me to turn left or right. My college baskeball coach was going to make a highlight film just of me staring at my hands like that.

2 - I know you are not easily guilt-tripped. This post would've been done months ago if you gave into such pressures.

3 - I love the way you interact with people.

4 - You and Chance could sing the freecreditreport.com commercials together. He cracks me up with those.

Can't wait for the next round.

Anonymous said...

Cali, when the veins (which, you're right, are freakishly huge) in your hands are as distracting as the freaky freckle mass on mine then I'll give you sympathy. But you're not even close. Get over it. And I love the freecreditreport.com ditties because I do not have to have a great voice for those and I can keep the beat. We must do a duet. And one last thought-- Helen keller said it was harder to be deaf than blind.....hmmmm.....better turn down those earphones. Love you, Lynn.

cathy said...

I won't bore you with ANOTHER long comment about this post. Just so you know, you are now doing my laundry! After changing the previous pannies from reading the above post, I now tinkled in these ones too! And reading Ande's comment made me keep laughing. You are so funny! and your humor could make you some serious moola! I wish we lived closer so we could hang out together and have cousin parties. *SOB*

Darla said...

Cali,
I'm so glad you are back... I've missed your posts.. Whomever is keeping you so busy must free you up to say a quick Hi, now and then...

I love your lists!!!