Wednesday, August 27, 2008

100 Things About Me (Round 3)

Note: this blog is full of random pictures. I couldn't find any pictures that were applicable, and what's a blog without pictures? Too many words.

51. I think there are certain, specific objects that tell volumes about a person. These objects can give you a deep insight to their thoughts, beliefs, and interests. Books, cars, food and shoes are some of these objects. However, more than any of the afore mentioned, I think lawn ornaments are the most insightful of all. Are you the yard gnome type, the pink flamingo type, the giant-wooden-butterfly-on-the-side-of-the-house type, or are you the toilette/bathtub planter type. Personally, I'm the bird bath type. I just think they are so insightful.

52. I hate when you’re driving and you realize there’s a fly trapped in your car with you. It forces you to choose between safety and sanity. Will you roll down all the windows while you’re driving down the interstate and use both arms to shoo it out, or will you keep both hands on the wheel and kiss your mind goodbye.

53. I think there is a strong facial resemblance between George Washington and you’ll never guess… Bill Clinton. Kind of ironic because George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie” and Bill Clinton said, “that would depend on your definition of ‘is’” and “I didn’t inhale.”

54. I’ve read a National Geographic from cover to cover before. It’s only happened twice that I can think of, though. I usually just look at the pictures, read the captions, and skim the articles.

55. I’ve been making a conscious effort for the past two years to say “many happy returns” instead of “happy birthday.” I think it sounds more sincere and classic. I first heard it on an old Winnie the Pooh movie when I was little. The phrase was just bouncing around in my head for 15 years until one day I thought of it and realized what it meant.

56. I like waking up early. When I lived in Hawaii I would wake up at 5:00 and either go running or just go sit by my window and listen to the waves and wind.

57. I love Raisin Bran so much that the thought of it makes my mouth water. I’ve had to pull my loyalties from Kelloggs though, because their two scoops upset the bran-to-raisin ratio. Kellogg, if you’ll go back to one scoop, I’ll start buying your Raisin Bran again.

58. I want a library someday. A library constitutes floor-to-ceiling bookshelves with a rolling ladder, comfortable chairs with ottomans, and a green banker’s lamp.

59. Next year I am going to buy some praying mantises (or is it praying manti?) for my parent’s garden. I got distracted and forgot to do it this year.

60. I have three jokes that I always remember. Here they are:

  • Question: Why was Tigger looking in the toilette?
    Answer: He was looking for Pooh

  • Question: What is black and white and red all over?
    Answer: A newspaper

  • Question: What did the fish say when he hit a cement wall?
    Answer: Damn

If you need a joke in a pinch, feel free to steal my material?

61. After hearing Alice in Wonderland read to me a long time ago, I stressed about accidentally getting stuck on the “other” side of the mirror. I remember lying in my bed quietly crying one night because I didn’t want to get stuck on the other side of the mirror. That story must have been pretty influential on my simple mind because I still see the Cheshire cat’s grin whenever there is a crescent moon.

Random #1: Me watching my souffle rise

62. My dad and I have a running game of, “If He Calls My Name, I Hide.” I know that if he is calling my name, then he usually has a chore or favor. If I hide, then I don’t have to do the chore or say “okaaaaay” to the favor. Unfortunately, after 23 years of this game, he knows all my good hiding spots, ie: behind a door, in a closet, inside the shower curtain. Yes, you all read that embarrassing confession I just made correctly. I’m 25 and I still hide from my dad.

63. I’ve only worn sunscreen 2 times in my life, and neither time was it my mom that made me put it on. Maybe I’ll die of skin cancer before I have a chance to rock myself deaf.

64. Every summer [of my youth (ha ha ha)] I saved up all my lawn-mowing money for school clothes. One summer in particular, at the top of my school clothes wishlist was a pair of green DENIM STRETCH PANTS with STIRRUPS. Luckily, my wishlist got lost on school clothes shopping day.

65. All my clocks are on military time.

66. I like black and red Redvines. I think that to truly appreciate them, however, you have to eat them in uniformity. If you eat a red, then you eat a black. If you eat 3 reds, then you better eat 3 blacks. I call it equal opportunity.

67. It took me almost a month to come up with this list, not because I couldn’t think of things, but because I got tired of thinking about myself. I imagine right about now you’re thinking along the same lines.

68. I think ellipses are addicting. Obviously. Although you probably can’t tell, I’m actually exercising some restraint in using them.

69. I went to a movie in the theater alone once. It was so lonely that I never did it again.

Random #2: Ty and I acting like we're listening to the re-roofing instructions

70. As soon as I “settle down” somewhere, I’m going to start taking piano lessons again. This time I’ll actually learn how to read music and won’t fudge my way through with rapid memorization.

71. I had a sad realization this year. I discovered I probably won’t get all the books read I want to before I die. Up until this year, it felt like I was going to live forever. Now 79.4 years doesn’t seem so far away. Gary Larson and Bill Waterson, I will always have time for you and yours. I’ll just scratch Moby Dick off the list; there’s a movie of it anyway.

72. I like to kill hornets. My dad taught me 2 new ways to do it.

  • Spray them with brake cleaner, it drops them mid-air

  • Use one of those lighter sticks to roast them

I know the fact that I like to kill wasps makes me seem psychotic, but just remember that certain blog post in the past where I mentioned the bug documentary and the despicable character of the wasp.

73. I like to think about conspiracy theories. I don’t really believe them, but they are just so exciting to think about.

74. On any road trip, I think the drive there is the best part. I’m always a little sad when we get there. I was NEVER one of those kids that asked, “Are we there yet?” Instead I’m sure I said, “Dang! We’re there.”

75. I like to eat dirt. I have to fight the urge to lick a potato that is covered in dirt. I have to fight the urge to lick the ground after it rains. I have to fight the urge to suck on rocks. It’s got a name. Pica.


Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Oh, ho, you are NEVER going to be able to tease me again about clothes that I wear after hearing your wish for green stirrup pants.

Pica. I learned a new word.

I feel badly you cried in your bed after being terrorized by Alice in Wonderland. Where, praytell, was your mother? Wait. I think I know. Threatening you that if you didn't quit crying or got out of bed one more time . . .

Are you sure you don't want to write 200?

shelly said...

I'm so glad that Lanita clued me in about your blog. That was worth waiting for!!!!

Anonymous said...

You make me laugh, and I love you.
Love, Aunt Rachel