Friday, February 27, 2009

Hate Mail

Dear DB,

I thought you got your name from your fluffy/furry appearance. Turns out you get it from your ability to exponentially multiply.

I thought you made life easier... matter naturally congregating. Turns out you're only meeting to conspire... against me.

I thought it was handy you clung to the bottom of my "gathering tool," as if you wanted to be gathered. Turns out you cling so tight I have to touch you to pry you off. You practically require a hair pick for adequate removal.

Turns out you sense me coming near, and you run. You run for the nearest shelter.

Turns out you're intelligent and you're learning from past experiences. You creep out of your hiding places only when company is here and I can't attack you in propper fashion.

You've worn me out. I thought I had you corralled last night, but I came home from work this morning and you'd all escaped. You were scattered everywhere. You even made me curse.

This is war. I'm taking it to the mattresses, horse head and all.

Damn dust bunnies.



9 comments:

Ande Payne said...

You potty mouth. Now Mom is going to know that I really am the righteous one...being obsessed with sex is much better than having a dirty mouth (for those of you reading, I'm really not obsessed with sex my mom just thinks I am...but obviously Cali does have a dirty mouth). I'm trying not to be offended.

Just kidding.

You made me laugh really hard. I especially liked your personification of dust bunnies. You are a clever, clever girl...even if you have a dirty mouth.

I love you and all your witty-ness.

hennchix said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! That was a great description of my life too!! Thanks Cali

Darla said...

Cali,
What's worse is those darn dust bunnies multiply just like real rabbits... watch out ... they will be everywhere *lol*

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

And all I have to say about that is, "Curses, foiled again."

Cassidy said...

Oh that's funny. I was just getting frustrated with mine today too! I don't know how I never saw them growing up, but here they are going crazy! I think it's the hard wood floors. Either that or it's cause my mom worked me like nobody's business growing up. hmmmmm. I might be on to something.

Julie said...

I'm with you! We have not one ounce of carpet here and my db are EVERYWHERE! My kids hate them because no matter how well they do their jobs the db sneak out upon closer inspection.

A Bradshaw Boy A Bradshaw Girl and A Bradshaw Baby said...

CALI!!!!
I'm so excited. I found your blog on Tiffany's. I loved reading your blog you're such a beautiful person inside and out. It made me miss those days at BYU in the tower and i hardly ever miss those days. You sound so happy and i'm so happy that your so happy. I kind of always hoped that you and Severin would get married but it sounds like you both found the perfect people for you. Just a request I would love to see some pictures of you in your wedding dress. The one of Ramond and you kissing I can only see the top half of you and I want to see the rest. Your dress looks so pretty.
Love you,
Lexie

HeatherM said...

Oh Cali - I'm late to the race, but I am laughing none-the-less! This was fabulous! My DB's only show themselves for company, as well. A WHOLE clan of them got together to reveal themselves at our Super Bowl party. It wasn't a pretty sight. DDB - Damn Dust Bunnies. There's just no other word for it. No apologies. Even if you lose your "righteous" status for a minute ;)

Lyle and Mary: said...

What??? Cali swears, and Ande is obsessed w/sex? It really must be the last days. Oh, and my dust bunnies could beat up your dust bunnies any day. Love the post, what do you call a bunch of bunnies?? A flock, a gaggle, a herd, a school, what??