24 Things (Vol. 2)

5. I’m handy, and both of our new bathrooms prove it. As Red/Green reminds, “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.” When we started the project, I feared I would only be the gofer/side kick/moral support. Turns out I have mentionable hardware skills; specifically, I have a second intuition when it comes to cutting tiles to the perfect size WITHOUT measuring. Despite my extraordinary talent, most of my jobs were dirty work.
Example 1: “Cali, while I’m at work today, you can rip out the linoleum and carpet. Make sure it is all clean when I get home and remove every staple and nail. I mean EVERY staple and nail.”
Example 2: “Cali, you see that ring of wax our toilet was sitting on? Well, while I’m at work today, you can get that all cleaned up. Hopefully we have some rubber gloves somewhere. If not, then just don’t make a mess.”
Example 3: “Cali, I thought you were going to clean up the wax ring. I don’t care if you couldn’t find any gloves. Use bags or something. I’ll see you tonight and remember that cleaning up that ring of wax is all that is holding us back now.”
The dirty work wasn’t too bad. But while pulling 4 inch nails out of the floor, I kept chanting, “Next time (grunt) will be (grunt) foreman.”
Side note… mom was supposed to be helping too. However, after she put the doors and hinges on the cupboards backwards (not sure how that’s possible), she was labeled Amelia Bedelia and reassigned as the cook. Thing learned, I don’t need a measuring tape.

6. According to the Smithsonian Natural Science Museum, a diamond isn’t forever. Every diamond is slowly arranging itself back to its more stable form… graphite. Three fourths of the pictures I took at all the Smithsonian’s were pictures like this, of the display fact plate. Thing learned, a diamond may be strong enough to be a drill bit, but someday it will only be a pencil.

7. The town of Sleepy Hollow lives up to its legend. We only drove through it, but remember how its cemetery was a couple of miles long? I think the town’s population was only 2,000 living, but at least 200x that in buried bodies and roaming spirits. Maybe the spookiness can be attributed to our visit being at the beginning of November and the headless horseman’s head was on everyone’s doorstep. Thing learned, as scary as the story is, the town is scarier.

8. Hockey games provide more entertainment than just goals and fights. You know the techno Cotton Eyed Joe song? At the Tri-City American’s hockey games, it makes little boys between the ages of 3 and 13 go crazy. The minute that song comes on (while the Zambonies are circling) every little boy IMMEDIATELY rips his shirt off, swings it around his head, and begins dancing a crazy, techno hoedown. The first time I experienced this phenomenon, I just stared with wide-open eyes and mouth. Now, it may or may not be the real reason I go to hockey games. Thing learned, there’s a reason hockey teams don’t have cheerleaders or dance squads… it’s already covered.